it feels so intense when nothing makes sense

you rattle your brain – minds locked in a chain

all processing stops – you’re seeing spots

the picture gets foggy – your hearts going soggy

so what do you do – what do you do . . . .

.

it feels so intense when you’re caught up in nonsense

running in place – while you’re being chased

stuck in a web – your mind is misled

you’re shaking inside – you’re losing your stride

so what do you do – what do you do . .

.

it feels so intense  on the offense and defense

you’re playing both sides – you’re in overdrive

the pedal is stuck – you wanna give up

overexposed – naked but clothed

so what do you do – what do you do . . . . .

.

it feels so intense  when things start to make sense

aligning your mind – unwinding your twine

you’re moving ahead – heels over tread

one step at a time – toward sublime.

you do what you do – you do what you do . . . .

.

it feels so intense  gaining visual sense

you’re starting to focus – no more hocus pocus

you’re able to see - your hearts soarin’ free 

flying through clouds – loving out loud

you do what you do – you do what you do . . . .

.

it feels so intense  adding a gate to your fence

when you open your soul your heart becomes whole

you’re reaching new heights - you’re painting with light

don’t overthink  - ……….remember to blink

breathe in breathe out – let go of the doubt

and do what you do - just do what you do . . .. .. . . . .

.

more real than Evander Holyfield…

simply, the best…. 

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r
     who
a)s  w(e  loo) k
upnowgath
    PPEGORHASS
                    eringint (o-
aThe) :l
  eA
           !p:
S                      a
  (r
rIvInG    .gRrEaPsPhOs)
       to
rea (be) rran (com) gi (e) ngly
,grasshopper;

-e.e. cummings

so hot right now….

tryin’ to let in a fresh breeze is all….

have i told you lately…

that you make my soul spin….

baby, you rock my world like sugar does cinnamon…

i wanna sprinkle you on everything – and take four bites in one…

but i’m forcing myself to savor your flavor cause i don’t ever wanna be done…

i’ll order you for breakfast – and every meal thereafter

i love mealtime with you – our best recipe is laughter….

my mind wants to dance with yours – to a song that doesn’t end..

with my heart in your heart there’s no doubt that you and i will constantly transcend…

have i told you lately….

that you light my fire….

you’re the spark to my flame…you are my inspirizer….

you are love – you are life – you are pure happiness…

you’re the sun in the shine and the pro in the gress…

you take me to new heights – heights that i’ve never been…

i thought i’d seen everything - until you made my world new again…

i love wakin’ when you’re still asleep to hear your breath’s in’z n’ out’z

i love the feelin’ that it gives to me…cause that’s the feelin’ life is all about….

you see….

i could write a thousand poems – and write a thousand more…

i can tell you how i truly think my body was made for yours…

i could tell you how beautiful you are over and over in a million different ways

i could tell you how i love your smile for a billion trillion days…

i could give you a hello or ask if you wanna walk with me..

i could tell you that you are as lovely as lovely could be….

i could invite you over to cloud 99.9999…. .9

i could tell you bout that one time when i realized you infected my bones and my mind…

 i could include a picture – i could include some sound…

i could include all the ways you’ve made my world go round…

…..but have i told you lately….

that i love you….

have i told you ever?

because i do….

yes, my mornin’ dove, you know it’s true….

i. am. just. that into you . . . . . . . . . . .

.

I have this thing for Rob Brezny’s ‘FREE WILL’ astrology horoscope in the back of the Willamette Weekly. It’s always the first page i turn to after i get my hands on the paper….

WW is more readily available near my new office so i’ve pretty much maintained a routine since the move - every Wednesday:  i take my mornin’ break and walk up to my favorite little cafe – Old Lair Hill Market Cafe – and grab the paper – sometimes, i accompany the paper with an Americano – sometimes, a bagel and raspberry or strawrberry jam – sometimes, i just grab the paper and flip a bitch back to the office….which is what i did today…

you see, by Wednesday, i am so excited to find out what my new weekly reading will be that i start skimming it over as i walk - and then i re-read as i wait for the elevator to reach my floor – and again, when i sit back down at my desk – really taking it all in - (just wait for the post that i fell flat on my face because i tripped over a pine cone, or a pigeon, because i wasn’t watching where i was going….just wait….)

So today - I’m skimmin along – and I literally stopped in my tracks….

“There’s a better than even chance that you’re about to embark on a Summer of Love. To improve your odds even more, meditate on the following questions. 1. What qualities do you look for in a lover that you would benefit from developing more fully in yourself? 2. What do you think are your two biggest delusions about the way love works? 3. Is there anything you can do to make yourself more lovable? 4. Is there anything you can do to be more loving? 5. Are you willing to deal with the fact that any intimate relationship worth pursuing will inevitably evoke the most negative aspects of both partners – and require both partners to heal their oldest wounds?”

it never fails that i can find a connection between Mr. Brezny’s readings and the current thoughts cartwheeling through my head and heart….but today – today he really stripped my most current thoughts to the bone….

As with everyone that exists – i have had my fair share of hardships – love lost - heart learned – mind cracked - life turned – … Reflecting upon my past i can honestly say i wouldn’t change a thing – i’m one of those – ‘everything happens for a reason’ people….the ‘it all ties together somehow’ kind….

Needless to say, my Core – my Heart – has been beating to its own rhythm for quite some time now …. it finally found a steady beat -

……one that can sustain on its own – or….can it?

i had started to think i was self-sustainable – but the reality is that i’m not. i can’t maintain a heart of gold if it has nothing to shine for….to shine is to share -

with that being said….i’m going to mozy on over to Mr. Brezny’s five million dollar questions….

1. What qualities do you look for in a lover that you would benefit from developing more fully in yourself?

this is a big question…..so i’ll give it a big answer: a BELIEVER.

Someone who believes in me – who believes in themselves – who believes in possibility – who believes in truth – who believes in simplicity – who believes in passion – who believes in touch – who believes in talking – who believes, ‘above all things’ – in love….

….i am a believer – no doubt – the problem is  -  the one thing i don’t believe in just so happens to be myself….

2. What do you think are your two biggest delusions about the way love works?

1 -that i can truly love you without lovin’ me….…. that’s what it always comes down to in the end…i can’t love you if i don’t love me – or maybe i can – but it won’t ever be as good as it would if i did

2 – if i don’t say it out loud it will just go away…. i like to be a bottle sometimes – to take all of those things (such as….the before me’s – ha.) -  gather them together and slap a cork on top to keep ‘em all in the same place – problem is … i am a clear glass bottle…in that, you can see my contents – i’m not hiding anything – i’m more so just holding it all in – almost as if i’m holdin’ my breath….waiting to faint….. self-destruction at its finest….

3. Is there anything you can do to make yourself more lovable?

find that inner soul shaker – that confidence – that deep down self-love and just hug it like i would a 3-toed sloth if i ever saw one…..if i love me – how could you not?

4. Is there anything you can do to be more loving?

listen to my heart and feel with my mind – to let them work as one unit instead of two…… to believe in the me that i am and recognize that i am good enough….as much as i choose to be my own worst enemy - i am just as capable of being my own best friend….

5.  Are you willing to deal with the fact that any intimate relationship worth pursuing will inevitably evoke the most negative aspects of both partners – and require both partners to heal their oldest wounds?

not only am i willing – but i’m able…. and luckily, i found that someone that makes me want to take off that damn suffocatin’ cork and break the bottle into a thousand chards of glass  –

I think i’m about ready to embark upon my Summer of Love…..starting Now. because Now is all we have….thank you Mr. Brezny…for askin. and thank you Mr. Blue Sky Eyes for believin’ – in me……now, it’s my turn….

….so much…..